Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What's something about our family that feels different from other families you know?”
What to listen for
A proud or amused answer shows they feel good about what makes your family distinct, that's a healthy sense of belonging to something particular and theirs.
If they mention something that sounds a little embarrassing to them, stay light about it, at this age, comparing families is part of figuring out their own identity, not a real complaint.
If they say nothing's different, that might mean they haven't spent much time comparing yet, which is also fine, no need to push.
What this tells you
This shows how they currently feel about your family's particular way of doing things compared to the wider world.