Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Is there someone you used to be really close with that you miss now?”
What to listen for
If they can name someone and explain what changed, that's real emotional honesty about how friendships shift, a natural, if sometimes sad, part of growing up.
If they seem sad talking about it, resist jumping to solutions, sometimes they just need the loss to be acknowledged, not fixed or replaced.
If they say no one comes to mind, that's fine, but you might also ask if there's anyone they wish they were closer to now, which taps the same feeling from a different angle.
What this tells you
This shows them that changing friendships are a normal part of life, not something broken that needs to be hidden.