Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“How can you usually tell when a friend is upset, even if they haven't said anything?”
What to listen for
A specific, detailed answer shows real emotional attentiveness, they're picking up on tone, body language, and small changes, which is a sophisticated social skill.
If they mention a particular friend, notice how closely they're paying attention to that one relationship, it tells you who currently matters most to them day to day.
If they say they can't really tell, that's useful too, it's a chance to talk together about the small signals people give off when something's wrong.
What this tells you
This shows how tuned in they currently are to the people around them, beyond just their own feelings.