Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“Is there someone outside the family, a coach, a neighbor, an older kid, that you really look up to?”

What to listen for

A clear answer shows they're actively looking beyond the house for models of who they want to become, which is a completely healthy part of growing older.

If they can articulate exactly what they admire ('how calm she stays,' 'how he's funny without being mean'), that tells you the specific qualities they're quietly trying to grow into themselves.

If nobody comes to mind, that's not concerning, just ask again in a season or two, since these role models often shift as they meet more people.

What this tells you

This shows you who your child is using as a model for the kind of person they want to be.