Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old

The prompt

“What's a mistake that actually taught you more than getting it right would have?”

What to listen for

If they can name one without flinching, that's a great sign, it means mistakes feel like information to them, not evidence that something's wrong with them, which will serve them well for the rest of their life.

If they tell it with lingering embarrassment, listen for whether they're still being hard on themselves about it; that's a cue they might need to hear from you that the mistake doesn't define them.

If they say they can't think of one, don't press, it might mean mistakes still feel too risky to admit out loud, which tells you to keep making it safe to fail in front of you.

What this tells you

How comfortably they talk about a mistake shows you whether they feel safe being imperfect around you, and how much self-compassion they've built so far.