Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What's something about my childhood that surprised you when you found out about it?”
What to listen for
If they light up recalling a specific story, that surprise is doing something important, it's helping them see you as a full person who was once a kid too, which makes you easier to relate to and confide in.
If they can't think of one, that's an invitation, not a failure, share a story yourself and watch how they react to seeing you differently.
If they say "I don't know," ask if they've ever wondered what you were like at their age, and go from there.
What this tells you
This shows you how much they see you as a real, relatable person rather than just an authority figure.