Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“Has there been a moment when you surprised an adult with how mature you were? What happened?”

What to listen for

If they can recall this proudly, that's a sign they're hungry to be seen as capable and trustworthy, not just as 'a kid', and that pride deserves to be matched by you, not minimized. Listen for whether the adult was you, a teacher, or someone else; if it wasn't you, that's worth gently noting to yourself as an area to offer more of that recognition at home.

If they can't think of a moment, ask if there's a time they wanted to be seen that way but felt like they weren't taken seriously, that flips the question toward something just as useful.

If the story involves handling something hard (a conflict, a loss, a responsibility), that's especially worth dwelling on and praising specifically.

What this tells you

This tells you how much they're craving recognition as someone capable of more than they're usually given credit for.