Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Was there ever a time someone stuck up for you exactly when you needed it?”
What to listen for
If they remember this vividly, it's often because being defended by someone else touches a deep spot, feeling like they matter enough for someone to take a risk on their behalf.
Notice who they name: a friend, a sibling, a teacher, a stranger, that tells you where they currently feel the most backup in their life, and where they might feel a gap.
If they can't think of a time, gently ask if they've ever wished someone had, that unmet wish is worth taking just as seriously as a happy memory.
What this tells you
This shows you who they count on to have their back, and whether they feel like enough people do.