Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“How do you feel about having your own privacy for your things and your space?”

What to listen for

If they push for more privacy, that's a very normal and healthy sign at this age, they're building a private inner world and want to know that world will be respected, not invaded.

Listen closely for whether their concern is about specific items (a diary, phone messages) or about the general principle of respect, the specifics tell you exactly where to loosen your grip a little.

If they say privacy doesn't matter to them yet, that's fine too, just keep checking back in every few months, since this usually shifts as they get older.

What this tells you

This tells you how much private space they need right now to feel like their own person inside the family.