Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What's the way our family actually says sorry to each other?”
What to listen for
Listen for whether they describe genuine repair, actual words, hugs, a change in behavior, or something more surface-level, like just moving on without really addressing it; that gap matters.
If they say sorry doesn't really happen much in the family, take that seriously and without defensiveness, since it points to a real opportunity to model repair more openly.
If they describe it warmly, ask what makes an apology feel real to them personally, that's useful for you to know the next time you owe them one.
What this tells you
This shows you whether they feel like conflicts in the family actually get repaired, or just fade away unresolved.