Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Is there someone who has never once made you feel judged, no matter what you told them?”
What to listen for
Naming this person quickly and easily is a wonderful sign, it means they have at least one relationship where they feel completely safe being honest, which matters enormously at this age.
Listen for what specifically that person does that makes it feel safe, their answer is basically a model for how you can be that same kind of safe person for them too.
If they can't think of anyone, that's important and gentle information, it's worth working, patiently and without pressure, toward becoming that person yourself.
What this tells you
This shows you exactly who currently makes them feel safe enough to be fully honest, and what that safety is built from.