Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Is there a tradition you wish our family had that we don't do right now?”
What to listen for
If they suggest something specific and thought-out, they feel invested enough in the family's future to want to help shape it, that's a great sign of belonging.
If they seem unsure or say "I don't know, maybe something," gently offer a couple examples to spark ideas, sometimes it's easier to react to an option than invent one from scratch.
If they say everything's fine as is, that's a genuine compliment to how things already feel, take it as one.
What this tells you
This shows you how much they want to help build the family's identity, not just live inside the one that already exists.