Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What's a responsibility you've earned that you're actually proud of having?”
What to listen for
If they answer with real pride, being trusted with something meaningful is landing exactly the way it should, they feel capable and respected.
If they downplay it or say it's not a big deal, they might need you to say out loud how much that responsibility actually shows you trust them, praise like that often needs to be explicit.
If they can't think of one, that's useful information, it might be time to hand them something small and real to be responsible for.
What this tells you
This tells you how much being trusted with real responsibility is building their sense of being capable and grown.