Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“What kind of humor feels most like actually you, versus just what's funny to everyone else?”
What to listen for
If they can distinguish their own sense of humor from what's just trending or popular, it means they've got a real, individual identity forming that isn't just borrowed from whatever's around them.
If they mention something dry, weird, or niche that surprises you, lean into curiosity, that specificity is exactly them being themselves.
If they say their humor is just whatever everyone else finds funny, that's fine for now, identity like this often takes longer to separate out, and there's no rush.
What this tells you
This tells you how clearly they can already see themselves as separate from the crowd, at least in this one small way.