Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“When do you feel most like yourself?”
What to listen for
If they can name a clear moment or place, they have a strong internal sense of who they are and where that self gets to come out fully, that's a healthy sign.
If they struggle to answer, they may need more unstructured time and fewer expectations in order to discover what that feels like, it's not something you can rush.
If they say "I don't know," resist the urge to supply an answer for them; just let the question sit and revisit it another time.
What this tells you
This shows you where and when their true self feels most free to show up, which tells you where to protect that space.