Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What's something about you that's pretty different from most of your friends?”
What to listen for
If they answer with some pride, they're comfortable standing out rather than blending in, which is a strong, healthy sense of identity at this age.
If they frame the difference negatively, like it's a flaw, they may need you to reflect back that being different isn't the same as being wrong.
If they say they're not really different from anyone, gently offer an observation of your own, sometimes kids don't notice their own uniqueness until someone else names it.
What this tells you
This tells you how comfortable they are being their own person even when it means not matching the crowd.