Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Has a time come up where two friends both wanted you to pick their side?”
What to listen for
If they describe handling it thoughtfully, even imperfectly, they're learning to navigate loyalty and fairness at the same time, which is genuinely hard and worth naming as impressive.
If they say it stressed them out a lot, they need to hear that not picking a side is often the wisest, bravest move, not weakness or avoidance.
If they haven't experienced this yet, that's fine; it's likely coming as friend groups get more complex, so file this one away for later.
What this tells you
This tells you how they handle pressure to take sides, and whether they feel it's safe to stay their own person in the middle of it.