Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old

The prompt

“When you've clearly messed up, how would you actually want us to bring it up with you?”

What to listen for

If they can describe a preference, privately, calmly, later rather than in the moment, that's them telling you exactly how to reach them without triggering shutdown or defensiveness, which is incredibly useful.

If they say "just don't yell" or something similarly simple, take that seriously; it's not a small ask, it's often the whole difference between a conversation landing or not.

If they say "I don't know, however," that might mean no one's ever really asked before, you can offer a couple options and see what resonates.

What this tells you

This tells you exactly what kind of correction actually reaches them without making them feel small or cornered.