Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“If you had to pick, would you rather be liked by a lot of people or respected by a few?”
What to listen for
If they choose respect, they're prioritizing being valued for who they really are over being widely approved of, a sign they feel secure enough to not need everyone's applause.
If they choose being liked, that's not a red flag by itself, belonging matters a lot at this age, but if it comes with anxiety in their voice, it may point to a need to feel accepted just as they are, not for performing likability.
If they refuse to choose, that instinct to hold both is a healthy one, let them explain why without forcing a single answer.
What this tells you
Which one they reach for first tells you whether their sense of worth right now leans more on approval or on being genuinely known.