Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old

The prompt

“Is there some kind of independence you feel ready for that we haven't actually offered you yet?”

What to listen for

If they answer directly and specifically, a later curfew, managing their own schedule, more say in a decision, they trust that naming what they want won't get shut down, which means they feel safe advocating for themselves with you.

If they hesitate or downplay it, they might assume you'll say no before they even finish the sentence. Try responding with real consideration rather than an instant answer, even if it's a no for now.

A "not really, I'm good" can be genuine contentment or a way of avoiding a conversation that feels risky, either way, leave the door open for later.

What this tells you

What independence they name, or avoid naming, shows you how much control over their own life they feel is currently missing.