Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Is there something on your mind lately that you haven't told anyone yet?”
What to listen for
If they open up, even a little, that's a sign they feel safe enough to test the waters with you, stay calm and curious no matter what comes out, since your reaction now decides if they come back next time.
If they close down or deflect with a joke, they may be protecting a private inner world that's still forming, don't chase it; let them know the door stays open whenever they're ready.
If they say "I don't know" or "nothing," that's a completely normal answer at this age, resist pushing, and just say something like "okay, no pressure, I'm around if that changes."
What this tells you
This tells you how much they trust you with the things they're still figuring out on their own.