Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Was there a goal you used to really want that you've quietly let go of? How do you feel about that now?”
What to listen for
If they can talk about it with some peace, "yeah, I just grew out of it" or "it wasn't really me", they're comfortable with their own evolving identity, and don't need every old dream to be fulfilled to feel okay.
If there's real wistfulness or regret in their voice, resist jumping to fix it or talk them back into it. Just let them feel understood in the loss, that alone can be what they need.
A quick "I don't know" might mean it's still a little tender, don't press, just leave space for it to come up again.
What this tells you
How they talk about a dream they let go of shows whether they feel their own changing wants are allowed, or whether giving up still feels like failure.