Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Random question, picture yourself on a totally normal Tuesday ten years from now. Where are you and what's the first thing you do that morning?”
What to listen for
A detailed, specific answer, a place, a routine, small textures like coffee or a commute, tells you they've actually let themselves imagine a life of their own, which means they feel safe enough to want things without you grading the want.
If they build a life that looks nothing like yours, that's not rejection, it's them testing out being their own person, and they need room to try the idea on without you reacting.
If they shrug or say "I don't know, whatever happens," don't push, that vagueness might just mean the future feels far away right now, not that something's wrong.
What this tells you
The size and specificity of the picture they paint shows how much permission they feel they have to want a life that's genuinely theirs.