Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Tell me about a time the whole group wanted to do one thing and you just weren't feeling it, what did you do?”
What to listen for
If they describe holding their own view even under pressure, that's a strong sign they trust their own judgment and don't need the group's approval to feel okay about themselves.
If they went along with it anyway but tell the story with some regret, that's worth just witnessing, you don't need to lecture, just let them feel heard about how hard that moment was.
A vague "I just go with whatever" might mean standing apart from the group still feels too risky right now, that's useful to know without making them feel judged for it.
What this tells you
How they handle disagreeing with the group shows how solid their sense of self is when it's tested by wanting to belong.