Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“What makes someone actually worth following, in your opinion, like a captain, a boss, whatever?”
What to listen for
If they mention things like listening, admitting mistakes, or treating people fairly, that shows they value being respected over being controlled, and it hints at how they want to be treated by adults in charge of them, including you.
If they mention someone specific, a coach, teacher, or older student, that person is clearly modeling something they admire, and it's worth asking what that person actually does, if they want to say more.
A cynical answer about most leaders being bad is worth taking seriously, not dismissing, it may reflect something they've actually witnessed.
What this tells you
Their definition of good leadership reveals what kind of respect and trust they're hoping for from the people who have authority over them.