Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“What makes you feel like the main character of your own life, versus just going through the motions?”
What to listen for
If they describe moments of agency, making a choice, chasing something, standing out, that sense of authorship over their own story is worth affirming strongly; they need to know their life is theirs to direct, not just something happening to them.
If they say they mostly feel like a side character lately, take that seriously without panicking, they need curiosity about what's making them feel small right now, not a pep talk about potential.
If they laugh it off as a weird question, that's fine, you can rephrase it as "when do you feel most like yourself" and see if that lands easier.
What this tells you
What makes them feel like the main character shows you how much ownership they currently feel over their own story.