Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What makes a goodbye feel harder than usual for you?”
What to listen for
If they can name specifics, not knowing when they'll see someone again, an ending that feels sudden, that shows they're developing real insight into their own attachment, which is worth honoring rather than rushing past.
Listen for whether hard goodbyes involve people or places or routines, that tells you what kind of change affects them most, which is useful to know before any upcoming transitions.
If they say goodbyes don't really bother them, notice if that matches what you've actually observed, sometimes kids downplay this feeling because they think it's babyish to admit.
What this tells you
This shows you what kind of change or separation actually touches them most deeply.