Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Was there a moment recently you surprised yourself with how much you've grown?”
What to listen for
If they can name a moment, notice whether it involves handling something calmly, being braver, or being kinder than they expected of themselves. That's a sign they're starting to actually track their own development, not just wait for others to notice it.
If they seem genuinely delighted by their own surprise, mirror that back warmly rather than analyzing it, sometimes the best response is just "that's awesome, tell me more," not a bigger conversation about growth.
If nothing comes to mind, you could gently offer something you've noticed, framed as an observation, not a grade.
What this tells you
This shows you they're beginning to notice their own growth in real time, which builds a durable, self-generated kind of confidence.