Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Is there a compliment you've actually grown into believing about yourself?”
What to listen for
If they can name one, notice whether it's about ability, character, or appearance, and notice the shift they describe, from not believing it to believing it. That arc tells you a lot about how their self-esteem gets built over time, through repetition and evidence, not just one nice comment.
If they mention who gave them the compliment, that person clearly has real credibility with them, worth remembering for later.
If nothing comes to mind, you could offer a compliment you genuinely believe about them and just let it sit there without needing them to agree on the spot.
What this tells you
This shows you which parts of themselves they've come to actually trust are true, which is the foundation of real, durable self-confidence.