Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old

The prompt

“What does kindness look like to you when literally no one's watching?”

What to listen for

If they describe something specific and unglamorous, helping without being asked, not gossiping, checking on someone quietly, that's a strong sign their sense of goodness is genuinely internalized, not just performed for approval.

If they mention a time they did this themselves, let them tell it without needing to make a big deal of it; the quiet pride in their voice is the real reward, not your praise.

If they say "I don't know," you could ask if they've ever noticed someone else do this, which can be an easier entry point than describing themselves.

What this tells you

This shows you whether their goodness is built on genuine values or just on being seen, which matters enormously as they get more independence.