Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Was there ever a time you had to share something you really didn't want to share?”
What to listen for
If they can describe the moment and how it actually felt, including the reluctance, they're learning that generosity can coexist with real feelings, they don't have to pretend they loved sharing to have done a good thing.
If they insist they never mind sharing, they may be performing what they think you want to hear rather than being honest about the hard parts, let them know grumbling a little is allowed.
If they say "I don't know," bring up a sibling or specific toy or snack situation to jog the memory.
What this tells you
Their honesty here shows whether they feel safe admitting mixed feelings instead of only showing you the good version.