Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“What's a moment with me or your other parent that made you feel really close to us?”

What to listen for

If they describe a specific, maybe small, moment, a car ride, a joke, a quiet minute, that's the kind of connection they're actually craving, more than big planned events, and they need you to keep making room for those ordinary moments.

If they struggle to name one, that's useful information, not a failure, it might mean you need more low-key, unstructured time together rather than more activities.

If they say "I don't know," ask about a specific memory you both share and see if it sparks something truer.

What this tells you

Their answer tells you what closeness actually looks like to them, which might be different than what you assumed.