Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“What's one way you and your sibling are alike, and one way you're totally different?”

What to listen for

If they can name both without comparing who's "better," they're developing a secure sense of their own identity that doesn't depend on beating or matching a sibling, that's worth quietly reinforcing.

If their answer leans heavily into competition or ranking, they might need reassurance that being different from a sibling isn't a loss.

If they say "I don't know," ask them to describe their sibling first, then ask how they're different from that description.

What this tells you

This tells you how they're defining themselves in relation to the people closest to them.