Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Is there a hobby you used to love that you've stopped doing, do you ever miss it?”
What to listen for
If they can reflect honestly on it, whether they miss it or feel relieved to have moved on, that's a sign they're comfortable with their own changing interests without needing to justify the change to anyone.
If they seem a little sad or wistful about it, that's worth exploring gently, ask what specifically made them stop, since sometimes it's circumstance rather than losing interest.
If they say "I don't know," name a hobby you remember them loving and watch how they react to hearing it mentioned.
What this tells you
This shows you how their sense of identity is evolving over time, and whether letting go of old interests feels easy or unresolved.