Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What's something that makes you feel like you could do absolutely anything?”
What to listen for
Listen for whether it's an activity (a sport, a performance, a game they're great at) or a feeling (finishing something hard, being praised, helping someone), both point to where their confidence currently lives and grows. The specificity matters: a detailed answer means they've really tasted this feeling recently and know exactly what it's made of.
If they hesitate or can't think of anything, that's worth gently sitting with, it might mean they haven't had many recent moments of feeling unstoppable, and you can help create more of those.
If the answer surprises you (something you wouldn't have guessed they feel confident about), let that update your picture of them rather than second-guessing it.
What this tells you
This tells you exactly where their confidence is currently strongest, which is valuable to know so you can help it spread to other areas.