Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“What's the best game you can remember either winning or losing really gracefully?”

What to listen for

If they describe winning graciously (not rubbing it in, or helping the other person feel okay), that shows real emotional maturity around competition. If they describe losing gracefully, listen for how they got there, did someone help them reframe it, or did they find that strength on their own? Either way it's worth naming clearly as a real strength.

If they can only think of times they handled it badly, don't dwell on that as a failure, ask what they'd do differently now, which turns it into a growth story instead of a regret.

If competition seems to be a sore spot generally, that's useful to know for how you frame games and comparisons at home going forward.

What this tells you

This tells you how they currently handle the emotional swing of winning and losing, which reflects a lot about their overall sense of security in themselves.