Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“Is there a friend group you used to be really close with that's kind of drifted apart? What do you think happened?”

What to listen for

If they can talk about it with some distance and even understanding ('we just got into different things'), that's a sign they're developing real emotional resilience around change in friendships, which is huge at this age. If there's lingering hurt or confusion, let that surface fully before offering any perspective, they may need to simply be heard on this one.

Listen for whether they blame themselves, the other kids, or just see it as natural drift, self-blame is worth gently addressing, since friendships changing is rarely about one person being wrong.

If they say it still bothers them, ask if they'd want things to go back to how they were, or if they've made peace with it moving on.

What this tells you

This tells you how they're learning to cope with the very real and common experience of friendships shifting, which is one of the harder parts of growing up.