Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Was there a time you had to wait your turn and it felt really unfair? What happened?”
What to listen for
If they can describe the moment and how they handled the unfairness (spoke up, stayed quiet, stewed about it), that tells you a lot about how they currently respond when they feel wronged but don't have full control over the outcome. Notice whether they sound like they've made peace with it or it's still a sore spot, a lingering sore spot is worth a little more gentle attention.
If they say they spoke up about it, ask how that went, did it help, or did it make things harder? That answer shapes how confident they feel about advocating for themselves next time.
If they say they just accepted it, gently ask if that felt okay or just easier, passive acceptance isn't always the same as being at peace with something.
What this tells you
This tells you how they currently handle feeling wronged when they don't have control over fixing it, which is a big part of learning patience and self-advocacy together.