Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“Do you think rules about lying should be really strict, or does it depend on the situation? What do you think?”

What to listen for

If they draw distinctions, a lie to avoid getting in trouble versus a lie to protect someone's feelings, that's a sign of real, nuanced moral thinking developing, which is impressive at this age and worth acknowledging as such. Notice if they bring up a real example from their own life while explaining their reasoning; that's often where the honest core of the answer lives.

If they say lying is always wrong, no exceptions, that's a clear and confident stance worth respecting, even if you'd complicate it a little yourself, this is a good moment for genuine back-and-forth, not correction.

If they seem to be testing whether you'll get upset by the question itself, reassure them this is just a thinking-out-loud conversation, not a trap.

What this tells you

This tells you how their sense of right and wrong is maturing beyond simple rules into real, situational judgment.