Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Tell me about a time you had to stand up to a friend who was being unfair to you or someone else.”
What to listen for
If they describe standing firm, notice how it felt afterward, proud, scared, relieved, since that mix tells you how confident they feel using their voice inside a friendship, where the stakes feel personal.
If the friendship changed afterward, listen for whether they feel okay with that outcome or still torn about it; unresolved feelings here often need a few more conversations, not just one.
If they say they've never had to, ask what they imagine they'd do, their hypothetical answer reveals just as much about where their courage currently sits.
What this tells you
This shows you whether they can hold onto their own fairness even when it risks the relationship.