Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“Was there ever a time a rule at home changed suddenly and it felt unfair?”

What to listen for

If they can point to a specific rule change, listen closely to whether their frustration was about the rule itself or about not being warned or consulted first, usually it's the second, and that's fixable.

A strong reaction here is often less about that one rule and more about wanting predictability and a voice in decisions that affect them, which is a completely reasonable thing to want at this age.

If they say no rule has felt unfair, you might ask if there's one that feels close to unfair right now, sometimes it's easier to admit a small complaint than a big one.

What this tells you

This tells you whether they feel like changes at home happen to them or with them.