Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Have you ever felt jealous of a friend or a sibling? What was that like?”
What to listen for
An honest answer shows they trust that admitting jealousy won't make you think less of them, that's an important feeling to be allowed to have without shame.
If they describe the jealousy in detail (what specifically the other person had or did), that pinpoints exactly what your child wishes they had more of, attention, ability, recognition, which is valuable to know.
If they deny ever feeling jealous, gently note that everyone feels it sometimes, even adults, normalizing it can make it easier for them to admit next time.
What this tells you
This shows you what your child quietly wishes they had more of in their own life.