Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Do you have a game you've invented with rules only you really know?”
What to listen for
If they describe it enthusiastically, that game is a genuine expression of their own creativity and control, a space where they get to be the one who makes the rules.
If they seem shy about it, gently make clear that made-up games are worth just as much as store-bought ones, maybe more.
If they say they don't really make up games, that's fine, some kids express that instinct through building or drawing instead, so keep an ear out elsewhere.
What this tells you
This tells you where they get to feel fully in charge and creative on their own terms, without anyone else's rules applying.