Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“When you're clearly not in the mood to talk, what do you actually need from us in that moment?”
What to listen for
If they can articulate something specific, space, no questions, just to be left alone for a bit, they trust that naming this need will actually be respected, not overridden by worry or persistence.
If they say "I don't know, just don't push," take that at face value as the real answer rather than a dodge, it's a completely valid boundary.
A slightly defensive tone here isn't a rejection of you, it may just mean this need hasn't felt fully honored before, which is worth quietly correcting going forward.
What this tells you
What they ask for when they're shut down shows you exactly what they need to feel safe having their own moods without being chased.