Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“What was the last game night that got a little too competitive?”
What to listen for
If they can laugh about it now and describe what happened, that's a sign they can look back on intense feelings with some perspective, which is a valuable emotional skill.
If they still seem bothered by how it went, or blame themselves or someone else pretty seriously, that's worth gently unpacking, ask what would make the next game night feel more fun for everyone.
If they say "I don't know," describe one you remember and ask for their side of it.
What this tells you
Their answer shows you how they handle the gap between wanting to win and keeping relationships intact.