Tonight with your 13 to 17 year old
The prompt
“Honestly, is there something about how we argue as a family that you wish we did differently?”
What to listen for
A specific, thoughtful critique, like wanting less yelling, more space to cool down, or feeling like they don't get heard until they're really upset, is valuable, honest feedback, and taking it seriously (without getting defensive) builds enormous trust.
If they hesitate to answer, reassure them that you actually want the honest version, not the polite one, that permission matters more than any single answer.
If they say it's fine, actually, that's worth accepting at face value rather than digging for a complaint that isn't there.
What this tells you
Their honest read on family conflict shows how safe they feel telling you the truth, even when it reflects on you.