Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“Did you set any kind of goal for yourself this year? How's it actually going?”
What to listen for
If they can describe a real goal and honestly assess their progress, they're building genuine ownership over their own growth, not just doing things because they're told to.
If they say they haven't really set one, that's a great, low-pressure invitation to help them pick something small and meaningful together.
If they admit the goal isn't going well, resist jumping to fix it, first just acknowledge the honesty, since admitting a stalled goal takes real courage.
What this tells you
This tells you how much they're starting to direct their own growth rather than waiting for adults to set the direction.