Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“Has anyone ever given you a compliment that you still think about?”

What to listen for

If they remember one clearly and can tell you who said it and why it stuck, that compliment is likely feeding a part of their identity they're proud of, ask what it made them believe about themselves.

If they can only think of compliments about looks or things, gently steer toward effort or character in future praise you give them, since those tend to stick longer.

If they say "I don't know," offer a genuine compliment right now and see how they take it.

What this tells you

This shows you which words about them actually sank in and became part of how they see themselves.