Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old
The prompt
“In your opinion, what actually makes someone easy to be friends with?”
What to listen for
A thoughtful answer reveals exactly what your child values in other people, and often, indirectly, what they're trying to be themselves in their friendships.
If they describe qualities like 'doesn't make fun of you' or 'actually listens,' that might be pointing at something missing in a current friendship, worth a gentle follow-up.
If they say 'I don't know, just being nice,' ask them to think of their favorite friend and describe what that person actually does, specifics usually follow.
What this tells you
This shows you what your child looks for in other people, and quietly, what they hope others see in them too.