Tonight with your 9 to 12 year old

The prompt

“What's a personality trait about yourself that you're actually proud of?”

What to listen for

If they can name one confidently, they have a solid, positive sense of who they are that doesn't depend on someone else telling them first, that's a great sign.

If they struggle or deflect with "I don't know, nothing really," they may need to hear you reflect back something specific and true you've noticed in them, since self-praise can feel awkward at this age.

If they name something and then immediately undercut it with a "but," gently push back on the "but", that's often where the real insecurity lives.

What this tells you

This tells you how solid their sense of self-worth is right now and whether it needs more outside reinforcement from you.